The Star-Spangled Man

[Something's wrong. Something's very wrong, that much has been clear since Steve woke up this morning, and he's not any closer to figuring it out.

All he can, tell, by this point, is people are missing, and certain areas seem closed, even when he should have access to them. So. Time to address the Barge - or what and who's left of it.]

So clearly, something's going on. I don't know what, or who's behind it, but until we figure it out, or where half the Barge seems to have gone, I figure it's a good time to start up patrolling, for those of you still here. Sound off, for me, let me know if you need a partner. I realize the list's gone through more than a couple changes, anyway, since Captain Okita and I first made it.

Actually, sound off for me if you can see this. I don't have any idea how many people are missing. Just that people are, and we'd better figure this out.

If anyone needs access to the kitchen or mess hall, I've got a key - am I the only kitchen warden left? Does someone have a key to the infirmary?

[The feed turns on to Steve looking determined. Tired, in a way he doesn't usually look, but determined.]

I owe everyone here an apology. I've been lying about Bucky since I got here.

[Yeah, he pretended it wasn't lying, but lying by omission is still lying, and he knows it.]

He's not dead. I knew he wasn't dead. He's been a prisoner of war for seventy years - worse than that - and I knew what happened to him, and I didn't tell him, and I didn't tell any of you so you couldn't tell him. I didn't want him to know.

I'm sorry, and if you don't trust a word out of my mouth ever again, that's fair. But I promise that's the only thing I've ever lied about here, if you're still willing to give me a chance.

[He stops, unsure whether he should say more. Finally,] I came here to find a way to help him.

[Now the rug's been pulled out from under his feet; he doesn't even have the whole story, just what Morgana told him, and her insistence that it was probably best for him to stay away for now. And he has absolutely no idea where to go from here.]

He's back on board. I haven't seen him yet, but I know he'll need his friends. That's a lot of you. [He doesn't have that, back home. All he has is Steve. Here, those friends are already making a difference. Maybe that's the answer. Maybe it was all along, and he was stupid to think otherwise.]

Be careful. [That hurts to say, telling people they might have something to fear, but he has to.] And go easy on him. But don't let him forget you're there.

I'd really appreciate it, but I'd rather you did it for him, anyway.

[Because Bucky doesn't want to deal with Steve. That doesn't mean Steve is going to give up, because fuck that noise, but if what Bucky needs is space, then shouldn't Steve respect him enough to give it to him? God knows the Barge is a small, contained space, and the fact that Bucky's hiding from him, hasn't tried to talk to him says a lot in and of itself, loud and clear. The idea of forcing Bucky to do something, anything, after the hell he's been through makes Steve feel sick.

He looks like he might say something else, but then he stops and turns off the feed.]



[He'll be wandering the halls under the guise of patrolling a lot more than usual - almost continuously, really, loitering around in places that Bucky might once have liked. If he's sleeping much, it's probably not clear when he's finding the time.]

[VOICE: Private to the Admiral]
I want to -

[change my deal, he almost says, but he manages to clamp down on that before he can say it. What he ends up saying instead is,]

I want to know if you knew you could never give him what he asked for.

[VIDEO: Public]
[The video turns on to show Steve in front of a generic Barge cabin door. Nothing special to see here, except it's supposed to belong to someone. But all the staring in the world isn't going to change that.

Steve just looks… blank. His voice is perfectly level, and he's looking through the communicator, more than at it.] Sergeant Barnes is gone. So's his cabin, so… I think most of you know what that means, by now.

I'm going to the Enclosure and no, I don't want company. [It's not a suggestion. It's almost a threat.

He wants to punch as many things as possible, and at least there's an easy way to do it, around here.

Plus, if he can make the things he's punching look like HYDRA agents? All the better.

The video ends with Steve just dropping his communicator in the hall and leaving the frame. He doesn't want to be contacted. He can't deal with everyone saying they're sorry, or whatever it is they're going to say. He can't deal with them all thinking Bucky is dead, and he can't tell them any differently after all this time, either. What's the point?]

[SPAM, hallways and then the infirmary; OTA, hours later]
[Several hours later, Steve finally drags himself out of the Enclosure. The shield's on his right arm, because his left is pretty visibly broken. So is his nose. A lot of him - well, what's visible around his slacks and t-shirt - is covered in bruises and scrapes, maybe even a few burns, but by the time he manages to schlep his way down to Level 2 and the infirmary, cuts that were originally deep look shallower and some of the bruises are starting to turn a little more few-days-old green than angry just-happened purple.

When he finally makes it to the infirmary, he glances around for whoever's on duty, not looking or sounding apologetic in the least, despite the fact that he opens with an apology:]

Hey… sorry to be a bother, but I could use some help setting these. [Meaning his nose and his arm.

He sounds about as level and blank as he did over the video, in any case. He's only here because if he waits, he'll heal enough that they're going to have to re-break the damn things to get them straight.]

[VOICE: Private to Helena, a few hours after his initial post]
I'm sorry. I know you meant a lot to him, if it helps. He wanted to help you.

If there's anything you need, I know I'm not your warden, but just ask. You'll get it.

[Until she gets a new warden. He doesn't want to say that out loud, though.]

[SPAM, around the Barge; OTA, the days that follow]
[Steve is acting normal. Or at least doing a very good impression of it. He doesn't miss anything he's committed to, and the only noticeable difference is that he eats most of his meals in his cabin, rather than in the dining hall.

He's been through this before. It shouldn't even be as bad, this time, because he knows Bucky isn't dead.

Except it's just as bad. It's like losing him all over again, over the side of that train, and Steve's stuck here out of choice, because he came here to do some good and he's still got a job to do. And he's going to do it.]