[VOICE: Private to the Admiral]
I want to -
[change my deal, he almost says, but he manages to clamp down on that before he can say it. What he ends up saying instead is,]
I want to know if you knew you could never give him what he asked for.
[VIDEO: Public]
[The video turns on to show Steve in front of a generic Barge cabin door. Nothing special to see here, except it's supposed to belong to someone. But all the staring in the world isn't going to change that.
Steve just looks… blank. His voice is perfectly level, and he's looking through the communicator, more than at it.] Sergeant Barnes is gone. So's his cabin, so… I think most of you know what that means, by now.
I'm going to the Enclosure and no, I don't want company. [It's not a suggestion. It's almost a threat.
He wants to punch as many things as possible, and at least there's an easy way to do it, around here.
Plus, if he can make the things he's punching look like HYDRA agents? All the better.
The video ends with Steve just dropping his communicator in the hall and leaving the frame. He doesn't want to be contacted. He can't deal with everyone saying they're sorry, or whatever it is they're going to say. He can't deal with them all thinking Bucky is dead, and he can't tell them any differently after all this time, either. What's the point?]
[SPAM, hallways and then the infirmary; OTA, hours later]
[Several hours later, Steve finally drags himself out of the Enclosure. The shield's on his right arm, because his left is pretty visibly broken. So is his nose. A lot of him - well, what's visible around his slacks and t-shirt - is covered in bruises and scrapes, maybe even a few burns, but by the time he manages to schlep his way down to Level 2 and the infirmary, cuts that were originally deep look shallower and some of the bruises are starting to turn a little more few-days-old green than angry just-happened purple.
When he finally makes it to the infirmary, he glances around for whoever's on duty, not looking or sounding apologetic in the least, despite the fact that he opens with an apology:]
Hey… sorry to be a bother, but I could use some help setting these. [Meaning his nose and his arm.
He sounds about as level and blank as he did over the video, in any case. He's only here because if he waits, he'll heal enough that they're going to have to re-break the damn things to get them straight.]
[VOICE: Private to Helena, a few hours after his initial post]
I'm sorry. I know you meant a lot to him, if it helps. He wanted to help you.
If there's anything you need, I know I'm not your warden, but just ask. You'll get it.
[Until she gets a new warden. He doesn't want to say that out loud, though.]
[SPAM, around the Barge; OTA, the days that follow]
[Steve is acting normal. Or at least doing a very good impression of it. He doesn't miss anything he's committed to, and the only noticeable difference is that he eats most of his meals in his cabin, rather than in the dining hall.
He's been through this before. It shouldn't even be as bad, this time, because he knows Bucky isn't dead.
Except it's just as bad. It's like losing him all over again, over the side of that train, and Steve's stuck here out of choice, because he came here to do some good and he's still got a job to do. And he's going to do it.]
I want to -
[change my deal, he almost says, but he manages to clamp down on that before he can say it. What he ends up saying instead is,]
I want to know if you knew you could never give him what he asked for.
[VIDEO: Public]
[The video turns on to show Steve in front of a generic Barge cabin door. Nothing special to see here, except it's supposed to belong to someone. But all the staring in the world isn't going to change that.
Steve just looks… blank. His voice is perfectly level, and he's looking through the communicator, more than at it.] Sergeant Barnes is gone. So's his cabin, so… I think most of you know what that means, by now.
I'm going to the Enclosure and no, I don't want company. [It's not a suggestion. It's almost a threat.
He wants to punch as many things as possible, and at least there's an easy way to do it, around here.
Plus, if he can make the things he's punching look like HYDRA agents? All the better.
The video ends with Steve just dropping his communicator in the hall and leaving the frame. He doesn't want to be contacted. He can't deal with everyone saying they're sorry, or whatever it is they're going to say. He can't deal with them all thinking Bucky is dead, and he can't tell them any differently after all this time, either. What's the point?]
[SPAM, hallways and then the infirmary; OTA, hours later]
[Several hours later, Steve finally drags himself out of the Enclosure. The shield's on his right arm, because his left is pretty visibly broken. So is his nose. A lot of him - well, what's visible around his slacks and t-shirt - is covered in bruises and scrapes, maybe even a few burns, but by the time he manages to schlep his way down to Level 2 and the infirmary, cuts that were originally deep look shallower and some of the bruises are starting to turn a little more few-days-old green than angry just-happened purple.
When he finally makes it to the infirmary, he glances around for whoever's on duty, not looking or sounding apologetic in the least, despite the fact that he opens with an apology:]
Hey… sorry to be a bother, but I could use some help setting these. [Meaning his nose and his arm.
He sounds about as level and blank as he did over the video, in any case. He's only here because if he waits, he'll heal enough that they're going to have to re-break the damn things to get them straight.]
[VOICE: Private to Helena, a few hours after his initial post]
I'm sorry. I know you meant a lot to him, if it helps. He wanted to help you.
If there's anything you need, I know I'm not your warden, but just ask. You'll get it.
[Until she gets a new warden. He doesn't want to say that out loud, though.]
[SPAM, around the Barge; OTA, the days that follow]
[Steve is acting normal. Or at least doing a very good impression of it. He doesn't miss anything he's committed to, and the only noticeable difference is that he eats most of his meals in his cabin, rather than in the dining hall.
He's been through this before. It shouldn't even be as bad, this time, because he knows Bucky isn't dead.
Except it's just as bad. It's like losing him all over again, over the side of that train, and Steve's stuck here out of choice, because he came here to do some good and he's still got a job to do. And he's going to do it.]
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