punched_hitler | For all of us who've seen the light

"Still." Steve couldn't help but blame himself. He might always blame himself, honestly, but it was just the way he was. He wanted things to have been different, and he would always see that failure as his own.

Of course, Bucky's words made him smile, and he shook his head, standing up. "No, no teleporters." At least, not without that tesseract... and he couldn't think about that right now. He moved - Bucky could see him - over to the other side of the panel, where the electronic release for the door was. He let it swing into the room, then stepped through it, turning toward Bucky. "Although there is a lot to get used to."

He did frown when Bucky said he didn't want the arm back. "Maybe Stark can make you a new one. Your own." After all, the guy was studying it right now. Steve was sure Tony could build a prosthetic arm. One that would be better than what Bucky had had before. "He's not a bad guy. Neither is Sam. You'll just have to give them time."

Bucky watched the door appear out of what seemed to be flawless glass and rubbed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose. He looked up at Steve after a moment. So earnest and yet... He sat and patted the bed next to him. "Sit, Steve." Bucky knew that look of self-doubt. "Don't blame yourself, you punk, or I'll give you more bruises. I don't need a metal arm to do that." He again tried to smile even though he felt like grinning. "And let's not talk about the arm."

He didn't want a replacement. If whatever dark thing lurked in his mind had been the one to use that to try to kill Steve, he would rather it stayed gone.

Steve sighed, but it was a bit more of a "gosh, my best friend is an idiot" sort of sigh, the kind Bucky (the real Bucky) was probably used to. Just a little bit of the tension drained out of his body, enough that he could walk over to the bench easily and sit down. "Don't give me any more bruises, I think Stark is already planning to call me Captain Raccoon for at least a month," he said as playfully as he could manage, bumping arms gently - very gently - with Bucky.

And if Bucky wanted to drop the idea of an arm... well, that was okay. For now.

"So... yeah. The future isn't all bad. Although this place is probably going to be a lot more high-tech than most. It belongs to Howard Stark's son." Steve had learned there was a basic level of technology... and then there was Stark and SHIELD had. But then, that was like the Army and the SSR. So that wasn't so strange, either.

"I kind of got that. Howard had a son, jesus. I never would have imagined it." He shook his head then leaned sideways against Steve. "I get the feeling he was responsible for this," and touched the collar. "Wouldn't have picked Howard's son to be a kinky bastard. He still around?" He looked up at Steve, "Can't imagine he's not still around, the stubborn bastard."

He rested his head on Steve's shoulder, not really having any fear of being seen basically touching Steve.

"Sometimes I'm amazed he only managed one," Steve chuckled, remembering how he'd thought that Howard and Peggy had... had a thing, and how wrong he'd been. Though he chuckled again, when Bucky mentioned the collar - it was true, Tony probably could have come up with something else, but that was Tony for you. If he could get away with toeing the line - or jumping right over it - he would.

Sometimes it was still strange to have Bucky be shorter than he was. Sure, Steve had mostly gotten used to being taller - it had been a couple of years, now - but a couple of years still barely held a candle to a lifetime of Bucky being the larger protector in their relationship. Somehow, it made him feel both protective and inadequate, all at once, every time he realized he'd outgrown Bucky. But only physically - he would always, always need his best friend, emotionally.

"Howard?" he asked absently, relaxing a little more, moving a hand to Bucky's knee, just trying to be comforting. "No, he's... he died. A while ago. I don't think he and his son actually got along all that well - which is because I can see a lot of Howard in Tony. They're very similar." Tony just pretended they weren't. "Peggy's still..." Well. Alive. "But she married someone else." There. That was the truth, too.

Bucky hummed. "Some poor woman actually married Howard, can you imagine that?" He laughed and curled into Steve - he was warm and they were alone - he could see out into the room beyond his cell, knew they were safe. He curled his fingers over Steve's hand.

"You seen her? How is she? Can't imagine she changed much either."

Steve was definitely starting to relax - this was Bucky, this was the person he'd been missing for years, the person he'd tried to see in the Soldier's eyes, and the person who kept him grounded. Bucky's hand felt warm over his, comforting - and Steve wondered if maybe he wasn't the one getting more comfort right now, out of the two of them. And he hadn't been knocked for the loop Bucky had.

"Yeah, I feel kinda sorry for her," he said, of Howard's wife. He'd never met her, but she must've been some lady, to hold her own with Howard around - and then with Tony. "But I would have liked to meet her. I'll bet she didn't take any funny business from him."

His smile flickered, though, when he thought about Peggy. "No... I guess she hasn't changed." Not really. She was still Peggy. When she there, in the moment, before she forgot again. "I visit her sometimes, still. She still puts up with me." Just like Bucky. "I guess I'm lucky, that way. I have a lot of people who are willing to put up with me." That last part was definitely directed at Bucky. "I'll take you to see her, if you want." He could warn Bucky about the Alzheimer's later. "She'd probably be just as glad to see you as I was." Although... how could she be? She'd known Bucky, but he was Steve's best friend. No one could be more glad to see him than Steve.

Bucky laughed, "I'm sure." He fell silent, listening to Steve breathing. He angled his head so he could hear Steve's heartbeat but kept his eyes on the glass.

"We ain't going to get in trouble for being so close, right?" He had this brief notion that things had changed, that men were now allowed to be physically close. He wasn't sure why that would be, but it might be. It had been 70 years.

[What do you think about maybe Steve/Sam?? And maybe Steve and Bucky are just platonic friends but are super close and physical with each other?]

That breathing was finally at a normal rate, the heartbeat was no longer racing, as Steve, for the first time in weeks, started to truly relax. Just sitting here with Bucky was like old times; he twisted his hand a little so he could actually grasp Bucky's, rather than just let it sit on top of his.

At the question, though, he blinked. "Huh? Nah." Things had changed - well, a lot of things. But even if they hadn't, Steve probably wouldn't have cared. This was Bucky, and things with Bucky were different. They always had been, but that hadn't ever bothered him. "I'm pretty sure the only way we're going to get in trouble is if we start fighting again... and I'd rather not do that." He tilted his head, trying to smile softly. "Unless we're gonna argue about how badly you need a trim, buddy."

[I can roll with anything~ Especially considering how much Steve flirted with Sam in that movie. XD PLUS I can totally see Steve and Bucky being pretty touchy, given how they grew up and how close they are. :3 That works for meeeee if you want to go with that! Steve wouldn't even think about how it would look to Sam, either. XD]

Bucky smiled and twisted his fingers with Steve's. He closed his eyes and relaxed. "Well I'm not gonna fight you."

He looked up, "I need a shower, mostly." His hair was greasy and wasn't staying behind his ears. "And a shave." He rubbed his chin on Steve's arm with a grin.

He and Steve had never been intimate, but they had been close since they were kids. Physically touching had been mostly frowned upon. The neighborhood they had lived in after the orphanage hadn't been discriminating - it had been full of people shunned by the general populace and he and Steve had been able to sit close together or touch each other without fear. It had been the same in the army - the Commandos hadn't cared either, if they sat together at night, arms and thighs pressed together.

"Good." Steve had had enough of fighting Bucky to last more than three lifetimes. He knew maybe they hadn't completely gotten that Soldier under control, but he was also hoping that the longer Bucky was in control, the less of it the Soldier might have.

"Yeah, you do need a shower," he observed, wrinkling his nose almost playfully. He snorted when Bucky added the bit about the shave, the feel of stubble tickling on his bicep. "And a shave, you're starting to look like a mountain man. I can see what I can do - " Steve glanced down, sort of taking stock of himself for the first time. "I think I could use a shower and a shave, too." Steve generally took good care of himself, though this self-imposed mission had been a little different. He'd been so driven. Sam had kept on him about eating and sleeping, but it had been hard to take care of himself, even for Sam, when he was so worried about finding Bucky.

Now, things were starting to feel normal again. Being close was nice. Not that he didn't get close to Sam, because of course he did. But being close to Bucky was a little different, was all. It had been something he'd always done, and it was a lot more comforting than he realized.

Bucky smiled. "I just hope I'm waterproof." He gestured to his arm.

Sam was coming back into the room and stopped dead at the sight of Steve and Bucky on the bed together, holding hands, Bucky with his head on Steve's shoulder.

He should have been able to guess, really. He walked over to the intercom and pressed on the button. "Steve, can we talk?" He stepped back, arms folded over his chest.

Bucky jumped when he heard Sam's voice and looked up. He pulled away from Steve and turned his attention to his lap. "You should go talk to him."

"I hope so, too, because I don't wanna give you a sponge bath," Steve teased, though that was when Sam's voice startled them both, causing him to jump at the same instant Bucky did. Steve, of course, didn't think anything of the fact that he was sitting pressed close to Bucky - that was just normal - and glanced over, wondering if Stark had found something useful.

"Yeah," he said softly to Bucky, starting to stand up - but reaching out to squeeze his right arm carefully, gently. "I'll get on that shower, too, so you can get cleaned up." He offered Bucky the most reassuring smile he could manage. "I'll be right back." He turned, making his way over to Sam, who seemed to be in 'serious business' mode. He hoped that might actually mean good news, but it was hard to tell. He was a little worried that it didn't.

Sam waited for Steve to close the door to the cell. "So you and Bucky, huh? When were you gonna tell me? Or were you?" He glanced at Bucky, who was watching them through the glass, a strange look on his face. "I don't care, but if I knew he was gonna be replacing me, I wouldn't have bothered."

"Me and..." Steve frowned, glancing back at Bucky, before turning back to Sam. It took a moment to process what was going on - or, at least, what Sam thought was going on. "What? No, he's not replacing you." Steve's frown grew deeper, though he reached out to put a hand on Sam's arm, just to ground him. "We've always been like that. It's not what I think you're thinking, Sam. He's my best friend." Not his boyfriend... who was clearly not processing that fact.

"It sure looks like he's replacing me!" Sam gestured to Bucky then put his hands on his hips, jerking away from Steve's touch. "All you had to do was say something: 'Hey, Sam, Bucky, you know, the guy we're going to bring back, we're so close that's it's impossible to tell we're not dating.'" He stepped back, away from Steve.

"I'm - sorry, Sam. I didn't think about it," Steve said earnestly, still frowning at the idea that Sam didn't understand. "Look, when we were chasing him - I didn't know whether he'd ever act like Bucky again. It didn't seem worth mentioning because it's just... not like that." He honestly hadn't thought to mention anything, because it simply hadn't registered. He reached for Sam's hand again, though he wasn't even sure the other would let him. "Ask him, if you want." In a way, he wanted Sam to get to know Bucky, for the two people that meant the most to him to like each other - or at least get along. Now he was starting to worry that that might not be possible. "He'll tell you the same thing I am."

Sam let Steve take his hand after a moment then sighed and turned his face away. "I get the feeling he doesn't like me anyways." He looked back up at Steve.

"I came down to check on how you were doing. Guess you're doing just fine." He frowned, then stepped in towards Steve. He leaned up and pressed their lips together. He watched Bucky straighten up from the corner of his eye then stood, features twisted in something like jealousy and anger.

Bucky watched Sam go from angry to kissing Steve in a matter of moments and stared, still not sure if he trusted Sam so close to his best friend. Not only was Sam a man, he was also black. The thought that they were doing something that could get Steve in trouble made him mad. It might have been 70 years, but it had still been only 70 years and Bucky couldn't imagine people being so open to Steve - Captain America - being with another man.

"Yeah, well, you two didn't get off on the right foot," Steve said, squeezing Sam's hand gently, glad the other man seemed to be calming down. He didn't want Sam to angry at him - or Bucky. Not right now.

"Actually, I was going to see about - " was all Steve got out before Sam kissed him; his back was to Bucky, so he didn't see how his friend reacted (not yet, anyway). Instead, he put all of his frustration - and his hope - into that kiss, because he needed Sam just as much as he needed Bucky. He couldn't do any of this alone.

And the truth was, even after 70 years, not every was open to the idea of Captain America flipping the good old American Dream upside-down a little. But he'd just been so damn bad with women, and he'd never had that same problem around men. After spending so many years being close to Bucky... he'd finally figured that maybe he should give it a go with a guy. Then Sam had come along, and it had worked out. Well. It wasn't like they'd flaunted anything in public, because Steve wasn't that kind of guy and they were also, admittedly, on the run, and undercover. They both knew duty came first. But that didn't mean they couldn't have a little time for each other.

"Shower," Steve finished absently, when he and Sam pulled apart. "I need a shower. So does Bucky. I assume Stark has showers around here somewhere."

He might have gone right on to business, but there was a soft, small smile reserved for Sam as he spoke. An unspoken indication that he would make this up to him - just as soon as he got the chance.

Sam nodded then said, "I think there's a bathroom attached to his cell... There's another mirror facing into a bathroom, anyways." He pointed with the hand not still clasped with Steve's. "And there's a shower for you upstairs. And a bedroom for you to ignore." It was a big bedroom that Sam had already settled their meager belongings into, with a positively massive bathroom with both a steam shower and a huge jacuzzi tub.

"Let's get Bucky set up with a shower and I can show you around." He smiled at Steve, knowing just how Steve could make it up to him.

"Stark sure doesn't scrimp," Steve chuckled - though he hadn't imagined the man would. He turned, opening the door and starting to say, "Good news, Buck, you've got a - " when he saw that his friend was now standing, staring at them, and he looked pretty far from happy. "Bucky?"

Steve was dense, sometimes - but he wasn't that dense. He glanced down at the hand that was holding Sam's, then up at Bucky. "Look... okay, apparently I am really bad at explaining things, but... " He looked imploringly at Bucky, as if to say, Please be okay with this?

Bucky looked between Sam and Steve then lifted his eyebrows. If Steve was talking to him, he couldn't hear it.

Sam sighed then let go of Steve's hand. He reached over and turned the glass back to a mirror. "Go in and talk to him, I'll wait out here for you."

Bucky glared when the mirror returned but sat on the bed, running his fingers over the collar around his throat. He was still himself, but the anger sitting in his gut didn't feel like his anger. It was cold, icy enough to burn whatever it touched.

Edited 2014-05-22 20:14 (UTC)

"Yeah. Okay." Steve felt a bit like an idiot... well, okay, what else was new? He stepped through the door into the cell, noting where Sam had pointed out the door to the bathroom. There was a small latch - nothing that could be used as a weapon - that indicated where it opened. He hadn't even noticed it, but that wasn't surprising, given how well it blended into the wall.

He stepped up in front of Bucky, looking sheepish as the other glared at him. "Hey. I. Uh. Probably should have mentioned... " He rubbed the back of his neck, nervously. Bucky had always been the one with dates, unless he'd found one for Steve, too. Steve had never exactly had to bring a date home to meet his best friend. "Sorry," he said, quietly. "I was pretty rude. To both of you."

"When were you going to tell me?" Bucky pulled his arm across his midsection, trying to ignore the anger curling there like a snake ready to strike. "How long you been with guys?" Bucky should probably have realized a long time ago that Steve was into guys. He'd never been too interested in dames but Bucky had always passed it off as them not being into him. "And with a black guy? That okay now too? Even for Captain America?"

Despite the fact that Bucky pulled his arm tighter around himself, Steve felt a little like he'd been slapped. "I - I was going to tell you when it became important." Which was right now, clearly. Steve looked uncomfortable for a minute, glancing anywhere except for at Bucky's face. "It's a new thing - the guy thing. Girls just... never worked out."

He frowned a little deeper, then, shaking his head. "It's... not okay with everyone. But things have gotten pretty complicated - with being Captain America, I mean." SHIELD was gone - being rebuilt, but currently gone. "Technically... I'm out of a job at the moment."

For all of us who've seen the light

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Oh! I wanted to let you know I've got company tonight through Monday, so I'll be slow this weekend

No worries! I'll be pretty much non-existent next weekend (F - M), so it's a fair trade :)

<3 I guess so!

Re: <3 I guess so!

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