For all of us who've seen the light

[punched_hitler]

Meme Thread Continuation
From: Here




"Seriously," Steve said quietly, trying to smile nonchalantly, even if he still felt a little on-edge. He took a breath, held, it, then let it out at the question.

"That's the long story part. The short answer is, we've both been on ice. In my case, it was unintentional. In yours - not so much." There. That was the simplest explanation, wasn't it? It was the truth, too, if not all of it. "Honestly, you weren't gone more than a couple of weeks before I... ended up taking a very long nap. I woke up a couple of years ago when SHIELD - that's what the SSR turned into - found me. By accident, it turns out."

He watched Bucky as he spoke, looking for signs that he should stop, that it was too much - or that he could keep going.

Comments

[punched_hitler]

That compliment definitely made Steve flush, this time with true modesty. "I... didn't think I was that great," he tried to tease, though he didn't look exactly displeased, when Sam moved to tangle their legs together. Just because Steve had the stamina to get up and go several more times didn't mean he had to; he was pretty worn out, too, and while he knew they should shower, he didn't want to get up, either. They could shower in a little while. "Yeah... if you do, I will," he agreed, thinking just a little bit of sleep would be a nice reprieve from... well, himself. Sam had managed to clear his mind of all that worry. A part of him didn't want it back, just yet. "Thanks. For... uh, for letting me make things up to you." For the distraction.

[make_it_hurt]

"Oh, not a problem at all." Sam grinned. "You should mess up more often, so you can make it up to me." He grinned and leaned forward, pressing his lips against Steve's. He blinked tiredly then rested his head on Steve's chest. He was tired and well-fucked and Steve was like a radiator. "I'm gonna sleep." And he was almost immediately dozing, tucking himself up in close to Steve. "Wake me up in a little while, and we can shower," he said sleepily.

[punched_hitler]

"Don't tempt me, or I just might," Steve teased, though his words were a bit cut off by that kiss. He could tell that Sam was pretty wiped out, though, and just made himself comfortable as the other settled against him. "Yeah. Good plan. I'll try and keep an eye on the clock." He'd probably doze, rather than sleep, which meant he could check the time every time he woke up a little. Even if he didn't need a lot of recovery time, it still sounded nice, and he was comfortable here with Sam against him. He slid an arm around Sam, holding him close as he pressed against Steve's body.

[make_it_hurt]

Unfortunately, JARVIS was waking them up a little over an hour later. "I hate to interrupt, Captain, but Dr. Goss says she needs to speak to you. Immediately. Bucky is... upset."

Sam jolted awake at the sound of the AI's voice and groaned. He rolled away from Steve, dragging the sheets up higher. But he was already awake. He opened his eyes and stared up at the ceiling. He looked over at Steve. "You should go to him. I'm going to shower." He sat up with a wince but got to his feet anyways, stumbling for the bathroom. He was sore and every step sent a jolt up his spine, but he didn't really mind it.

[punched_hitler]

Steve bolted upright the instant JARVIS spoke; he's not sore like Sam is, but he was enjoying the sleep and he'd dozed off a little more heavily than he anticipated.

He blinked blearily, but the instant JARVIS said Bucky was upset, he was moving. He'd managed to roll out of bed by the time Sam had started to get up; he felt bad, seeing the way Sam was wobbling and wincing, even if the other man didn't seem to mind. Steve was already looking for his clothes; if he arrives downstairs a little rumpled, well, it just can't be helped. This is important.

"Yeah - hey." He jogged over to Sam, pressing a quick, desperate kiss to his lips before heading for the door to their little suite. "I'll see you in a bit."

Then he was running, full-scale, for the cell.

[make_it_hurt]

Sam smiled. "Yeah, see you in a bit."

Dr. Goss turned when Steve came in. "He was fine for a while. I was sitting here, observing. For some reason, he switched from the Solider personality to Bucky and then..."

Bucky was sitting in the middle of a destroyed cell. His mattress was flung against the wall, sheets everywhere and torn, the bed frame twisted.

Bucky was staring straight at the mirror, features blank. It was hard to tell if it was Yasha or Bucky just yet, but it could have been either of them.

[punched_hitler]

Steve flinched when he saw the destroyed remnants of the cell. He stepped up to the glass, staring, but the face looking back at him was just blank. It gave him the chills. "Can I talk to him?" he asked, glancing back, but his hand was already going for the door. "I want to talk to him. Something's obviously wrong."

[make_it_hurt]

Dr. Goss hesitated, then nodded. "Yes. Please be careful, though, Captain."

He looked up when he heard voices on the other side of the door. He felt off, a mash of a broken-glass touch and an iron-hard first. He felt caught, trapped between the two extremes. He had torn apart his cell in a fury, and was now stuck.

"I hadn't started the therapy yet. It's possible one of them overheard our plan, though. Yasha could be trying to assert himself over Bucky, or the other way around. He may be volatile."

[punched_hitler]

"When am I not?" he tossed over his shoulder - a bad joke, because Steve Rogers had the tendency to do just the opposite. He wasn't always careful - with himself. But he would be careful with Bucky. Always.

He opened the door, slipping through and closing it behind him to protect Dr. Goss. Steve held up his hands, tried to look neutral, but friendly - but he was ready, if the Soldier decided to spring. "Hey, buddy," he said, slowly. "Redecorating?

[make_it_hurt]

He looked up when Steve came in, spinning and raising his right arm up. There was a long, deep gash along his forearm, gushing blood, that hadn't been visible from outside the room. It was already starting to clot - Bucky's serum had left him with heal rates close to Steve's, but unlike Steve's, Bucky's body would simply heal around a bullet instead of push it out, or heal right around cloth. There was no finesse, just brutal efficiency. It also left him scarred where Steve was unmarked. Bucky's body was a mess of bullet wounds and stab scars.

He asked calmly, voice an odd blend of Russian and Brooklyn accents, "What are you going to do with us?" He met Steve's gaze calmly, expression inscrutable.

[punched_hitler]

Steve moved to block the possibly blow - but it never came. Instead, he frowned, dropping his arms (though not relaxing his stance) as he stepped forward to get a better look at that arm. It might be clotting already, but that didn't mean it didn't hurt.

He looked up, still frowning, at the question. "I don't know. We're going to try to help you. I think... I think that would be best for... all of you." He didn't say how, because no, he didn't want to give anything away. He didn't know if he - they? - knew about the plan, but he wasn't going to risk it. Help was a general enough term, and it wasn't a lie. "Let me see your arm."

[make_it_hurt]

He hesitated, the thin line of his mouth spoke of distrust while his eyes were definitely trusting. Finally, he offered his arm to Steve and sat perfectly still, watching Steve closely. His body was tense, ready and waiting for danger to spur him into action.

Dr. Goss watched carefully. There was no telling how long this delicate balance of Bucky and Yasha would last. He could snap to either side or just fall to pieces at any moment. She didn't want to break the concentration in the room, didn't want to influence things one way or the other. Steve was so close - if Yasha suddenly took over, Steve could be in mortal danger.

[punched_hitler]

Steve took the proffered arm carefully, both because he didn't want to jostle it and because he didn't want to scare - or anger - whoever he might be dealing with. He didn't really seem to care that he could be in mortal danger, mostly because he didn't. He'd risked his life so many times for people he didn't know, how could he not risk it for someone that meant everything to him?

"Here - " he said, carefully pulling out a handkerchief from his pocket, pressing it to the wound, trying to stop the bleeding for good. "I can get you something for that. To wrap it up. If you trust me."

[make_it_hurt]

He winced at the touch of cloth to his arm, then nodded. He pulled his hand away, pressing the cut to his body with the cloth in the way to try and keep pressure. "Alright." Part of him trusted Steve with his life, and the other part of him didn't, would do anything to tear Steve apart. So he couldn't tell Steve he trusted him, because it was only partially true.

[punched_hitler]

Steve nodded - glad that he was at least letting Steve treat the wound, even if there was nothing said about trust. He wasn't a doctor, but he'd learned field medicine and the healing factor should be able to make up for what he lacked. He turned, heading back for the room, pointing through the glass at where the first aid kit was. He'd need Dr. Goss to get it for him, and open the door, since it couldn't be opened from in here. Which was a good thing, if that Soldier ever did come back.

[make_it_hurt]

Dr. Goss turned and grabbed the first aid kit off the wall. She stepped into the room only a little, offering the kit.

He looked up at the doctor, eyes suddenly going wide. Then he jerked and turned his face away, breathing hard. She looked like one of the scientists who had reprogrammed him, wiping away part of his mind and replacing it with something harder, darker, colder.

He squeezed shut his eyes, trying his hardest to hold himself back.

"Steve..." Dr. Goss glanced over at Steve in worry then over at the man practically huddling into himself. He flinched when she spoke.

He had been trained to be still and silent and that was the only thing keeping that part of him back. As much as he wanted to lash out at her, for what she had done to them, he couldn't.

[punched_hitler]

"It's okay," Steve said steadily - though he wasn't sure if he was talking to Bucky, Dr. Goss, or both. Probably both. He took the first aid kit, motioning back to the door with his chin. "I think other people make him nervous." And confused. She probably already knew that, but he needed to get over to Bucky and treat that wound without him being terrified, so it would be best if the doctor wasn't in the room. Then he'd head over - carefully - in Bucky's direction to deal with that cut. "We'll just take it slow."

[make_it_hurt]

She nodded and retreated, pulling the door shut behind her. As soon as it was shut, his shoulders slumped in relief and he looked up at Steve, offering up his arm again. "Who is she?" He glanced at the mirror with something approaching fear on his face. He knew Steve and even if his feels were mixed about him, Steve had never done to him what the woman had. "Is she going to.... hurt me again?"

[punched_hitler]

"What?" Steve glanced behind them, at the glass that now just looked like a mirror, even if they both knew it wasn't. "Buck - no, she's not going to hurt you."

He started working on that cut, even as he kept talking. Maybe having two things to concentrate on at once would help Bucky to accept it a little easier. "She's a doctor. She's here to help you. I swear. I vouch for her. She won't hurt you. She's never hurt you."

[make_it_hurt]

He looked up at Steve and said, seriously, "Doctors did this to me." He didn't think he would have to say what 'this' was.

Once Steve had finished bandaging his arm, he pulled away, looking up at Steve. "We don't want to be like this, Steve. Not both of us, together. It hurts... One or the other, not both." Then he blinked and bowed his head. Tension came into his shoulders and he pushed himself away from Steve. Yasha glanced up through his hair, then turned his face away. He said, simply, "Go."

[punched_hitler]

No, he didn't have to say. Steve frowned, but kept right on working, because that let him think for a moment. "Doctors, maybe. But not Dr. Goss."

Of course, when Bucky spoke, it only confirmed what Steve had wanted. For him to be one or the other - not both. And preferably Bucky. His mouth opened, he was about to say something, anything, when the Soldier's demeanor changed completely - just like that. It was pretty terrifying, honestly.

Steve took an involuntary step back, but after that, he stood his ground. "Let me help you put this place back together."

[make_it_hurt]

Yasha shook his head. "No. I'll do it." He looked up at Steve. "You may leave, this once. For him. It will not happen again." Yasha was aware of Bucky now, aware that he was not alone. He had no real choice but to accept that. And crush Bucky Barnes once and for all, to do what HYDRA could not.

[punched_hitler]

Steve frowned - knowing that Yasha knew about Bucky was a little worrying, but he supposed... they both had some kind of right to live, didn't they? Even if he would sacrifice anyone for Bucky, if it came down to it. He knew he would.

He didn't move for a long, minute, looking torn. He wanted to stay, to help... but he wasn't sure that was a good idea. "You... uh, let me know if you change your mind - and want a hand, I mean," he said, tilting his head toward the mirror. Yasha and Bucky both knew there was someone behind it, so why pretend it wasn't true?

[make_it_hurt]

Yasha nodded. "Fine. Just go." He pushed himself to his feet, hand curling into a fist. He turned and righted the bed frame and started to pull the mattress back up onto it.

Dr. Goss was waiting outside the cell. "How's he doing? I didn't hurt him, Steve, I can promise you that much."

[punched_hitler]

Steve didn't look happy about it... but he went. In fact, he probably looked nothing short of downright defeated as he waited for Dr. Goss to open the door to the cell for him, slipping through and closing it without looking back. He knew that this wouldn't be easy... he'd just never quite bargained on how hard it would be.

"He's all right," was sort of the automatic answer - although Steve shook his head a moment later. "No - I know you didn't hurt him. I just hate the thought that so many people did."

He finally turned to look back through the glass, watching Bucky - Yasha? - start to put the room back to rights. "I shouldn't have let this happen to him. I should have gone back for him. This is my fault." If he hadn't left Bucky behind, assumed he was dead, after that fall... none of this would have happened. Steve couldn't help but blame himself.