punched_hitler | ☆ 6 ☆ (VIDEO)

So I know it's only been two days, but anyone who's made it through two days of Basic so far - trust me. It could be worse. [He cocks a wry grin. Bucky's not the worst drill sergeant Steve's seen, and besides:] You could have asthma.

[Yeah, he's pretty sure he almost died at least ten times during Basic. And he got the much abbreviated version.

Anyway.]

If anyone's got any questions, or just wants to get in some extra practice with a different face, let me know. But, [he raises one finger,] I'm not your Drill Sergeant, and I'm not about to contradict anything he says just because you want to hear he's wrong - because he's not. [So just keep that in mind. Steve might be helping Bucky, but Bucky's in charge here.]

[PRIVATE TO MINDY MACREADY]
Hey. Just because I'm not your temporary warden anymore doesn't mean we need to ignore each other, right? Remember, I'm right down the hall if you need anything - whether it's a couch or a punching bag. [Literally or figuratively.

Still, he doesn't want to push. She doesn't seem like she'd respond well to that. He can only offer, she's got to take him up on it. So.] Otherwise... I'm sure I'll see you in the gym.

[PRIVATE TO VEX]
[He's seen Vex on the network, but they've never spoken. Now, though, it looks like that's going to have to change.] I guess I should introduce myself - I'm Captain Rogers. Or you can call me Steve. I admit, I don't know much about you - but I'd like to think I'm a pretty good listener.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Some things do become ingrained. It's the same for Steve - he always makes the bed, because that's what you did in the orphanage, and his apartment's pretty plain and empty because even though he gets a decent salary, he doesn't think about spending it on anything other than necessities, maybe a book or a movie now and again. Honestly, some part of him still has a hard time trusting banks.

And some of Bucky's habits are ones that he shares; he still jumps at shadows every once in a while, and he ends up sleeping on the couch or in a chair nearly half as often as he sleeps in the bed.

But it's different, still. He's not as on-edge as Bucky is, and he doesn't carry weapons. Maybe part of that is because he is a weapon, but not all of it. Working for SHIELD, he's gotten more used to the idea of a mission being a mission, and home being home - and safe. And he maybe gets off a little easy, trusting to peak human senses and reflexes, rather than simple hyper-vigilance.

It all just serves to make him painfully aware of how easy he has had it, over Bucky. And he's not sure how to even the playing field, or if he ever can.]

It's not about the kids, [he says, slow but sure.] It's about - look, I had to re-learn some things, after they woke me up. [And learn a lot of new things, to boot - although maybe that actually made it easier. He'll never know.] You're a warden here, Buck. It's just… not quite the same as active duty.

[Maybe not a lot different, either. But not entirely the same.

And he's really not sure he's doing this right at all, in the first place. Bucky looks more defensive than anything, and that's the last thing Steve wants - to get his hackles up.]

[Unfortunately, he does get his hackles up, because that's pretty much the worst thing he could have said, maybe even after "I think you're dealing with pretty bad shellshock", because that at least Bucky could've laughed off with a comment like "so's everyone else", because it's true. No one wasn't fucked up by what they saw, and did, and everything.

So Bucky opens his eyes, turns his head, and while he's not quite glaring, his brow's furrowed and he's frowning, and the whole thing adds up to looking kind of ticked off.]

I know, Steve. [Did he talk to Lydia? Is this going to be a rehash of that conversation, of how Bucky's not, and won't ever be sorry for the things he had to learn to do because it kept people safe] I'm not stupid.

[Part of him wants to say more. Wants to say he knows they're not the same, but they're not that different, either. He doesn't remember much about his time here before, but he knows he died, and he knows it wasn't pretty. That because they weren't prepared, he and Ben had gotten captured, and a lot of people had gotten hurt. You can't afford to let your guard down, not even here, and he's tired of being treated like he's the one who did something wrong, who's doing something wrong.

He's not. He's doing what he has to to keep himself and other people alive, and he's not going to apologize for it. And he's sure as hell not going to explain himself to anyone about it, not even Steve.

So he clams up instead. He closes his eyes, turns away again, and doesn't say anything else, except the lines of tension around his face don't go away. Of course, he doesn't get up and leave, either, but he's definitely kind of pissed.]

[Steve cringes inwardly - so much so that it's probably impressive he didn't cringe physically, too. Way to go, Rogers. He's never been one for subtle, least of all around Bucky, and sometimes... it kind of hinders more than helps, even if he's always been an honest, open guy. Some things, you've just got to approach more carefully, and that's sometimes a challenge.

Especially with regard to Bucky.

But for once, Steve knows when to back off. He doesn't want to - hell no, he really, really doesn't want to - but if he's learned anything from watching Sam Wilson at work, it's that sometimes, barreling right in just isn't the answer. Sometimes, it's a waiting game.

He's willing to wait for Bucky forever, back home. So he's willing to wait forever for Bucky here, too. Even if he knows he isn't going to wait forever before trying to bring this up again. The way he's acting isn't doing Bucky any favors, but pointing out that hey, the war is over for you, too, only rubs his face in something that Steve's already feeling horrible enough about. So for once in his life, he drops it, and just says, carefully - but not patronizingly,]

I never said you were.

[He can pretty much feel the tension radiation off of Bucky; Steve just nudges his shoulder, and doesn't get up, but doesn't say anything else.]

Edited 2014-09-20 21:01 (UTC)

[He knows. Really, Bucky knows Steve didn't mean any harm, that he's just trying to look out for him, and in some ways, Bucky knows he's probably right, because there's something that broke in him a long time ago, and he's not sure it'll ever really heal.

But it still rubs him the wrong way, because it's easier to pretend like nothing's wrong, that he's totally fine, and he doesn't want anyone treating him differently. Especially not Steve.

So several seconds later, Bucky elbows him in return. The gesture might be a little half hearted, but it happens, and Bucky still doesn't get up to leave, either, so hopefully, things are okay.

(They have to be okay. He really doesn't know what he'll do if they're not.)][It's a further attempt at a peace offering, because if Steve wants to get food or do something else as a distraction, he's up for it. But he'll also sit here forever if that's what Steve wants to do.]

☆ 6 ☆ (VIDEO)

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