Steve Rogers ☆ Captain America (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
punched_hitler) wrote2014-11-13 11:54 am
punched_hitler) wrote2014-11-13 11:54 am
☆ 14 ☆ (VIDEO; Wardens Only, Forward-dated slightly to 11/13, evening after port)
All right, look - now that we're all back on board [and back where they belong] I think we can all agree that Jerry is a bigger problem than your average inmate. Nearly everyone I've talked to has been attacked by him - or killed by him - and it's got to stop. I know he doesn't have a specific warden assigned, but that doesn't mean it's not our job, as wardens, to take care of the situation instead of waiting for someone else to come along and fix it. And I don't think keeping him down in Zero - or killing him a hundred different ways, including setting him on fire - is going to accomplish anything.
[Even if Steve would really, really like to punch him in the face a hundred different ways, by now.]
So. Because this is a problem that affects all of us, as wardens, I think all of us should have a say. I'm - I don't have an assigned inmate right now, so I have the time to keep a personal eye on him. [And the tenacity.] But if someone's got a better suggestion, I want to hear it. I think we all should hear it. This is our Barge, and we need to make it a better place. Maybe it's not as safe as we'd like, but it doesn't have to be a place where people have to hide behind lines of mountain ash and watch their backs. [Or change rooms.] I'm sick of letting one bully with a pair of fangs put everyone here at risk.
[Even if Steve would really, really like to punch him in the face a hundred different ways, by now.]
So. Because this is a problem that affects all of us, as wardens, I think all of us should have a say. I'm - I don't have an assigned inmate right now, so I have the time to keep a personal eye on him. [And the tenacity.] But if someone's got a better suggestion, I want to hear it. I think we all should hear it. This is our Barge, and we need to make it a better place. Maybe it's not as safe as we'd like, but it doesn't have to be a place where people have to hide behind lines of mountain ash and watch their backs. [Or change rooms.] I'm sick of letting one bully with a pair of fangs put everyone here at risk.
[Warden Filter]
This is the hunter: cold, ruthless, and stone dead inside.]
The better suggestion is to kill him. Simple. [She hesitates, then draws a shaky breath because as badly as she wants to let go completely (because Lydia's done, the whole pack will probably be done if they talk to her about what transpired between them), she can't.
The only thing she has left is the Code.
We hunt those who hunt us. We protect those who cannot protect themselves.
She must serve both...but she can't serve one without serving the other. She sees this now.]
I'd like to say post a guard by his bed in the infirmary to stake his ass every time he wakes up...but that's just me talking. In the interests of doing my job, and not just having fun...the son of a bitch has yet to die on this ship, from what I've seen. He needs to understand he has no power here, that he's on the same level as everyone else...that he can die as readily as we can. Maybe then we can do something with his ass.
[Warden Filter]
[Warden Filter]
[Something finally slides through the cold, dead dark in her eyes...a telling mixture of fear and shame.]
He wasn't powerful enough to do to any of them...what he did to me.
[Warden Filter]
You're beyond forgiveness. You're beyond impartiality. You're not at punishment or prevention: you're at revenge.
If that's what you want, do it on your own time. Don't bring the rest of the wardens into it.
[Warden Filter]
This is about making sure the next thing he tries to use on this ship isn't his blood. It's bad enough he's already bitten so many people...Zane, I will not be able to live with myself if he does...
[Her voice cracks.]
...that to them.
[Warden Filter]
[ He is coldly certain. He knows what it is, to want to protect someone. But they're all here. They're all on the Barge. Wardens need to accept their responsibility. ]
So get creative. Ask the Admiral to make the taste of fresh blood disgusting to him, to the point of making him sick. Or to make him physically weaker.
[Warden Filter]
Jesus, do you think that little of me? That I'm so goddamn bloodthirsty I would sacrifice a friend's life for this? Because that's what I'm doing if I get demoted, I'm well aware of that: I'm killing half my pack in one fell swoop. And I've already lost my best friend--
[The word escapes on a sob, and just like that she feels tears, she can't breathe because her chest is knotted so tight her lungs can't expand.
She can handle what Jerry did to her. She can...she just can't do it alone, and that's what breaks her.
Because she can't forget her. Not yet, not yet...she can't cut that wound out of her heart just yet.
And until she can do that, she can't function in a world where she's this alone.]
--and I can't...I can't let that be for--for--
[She's still sobbing, she can't make it stop. She can't turn it off...it sweeps up so suddenly, burning and clawing at her insides that she actually feels like she's being smothered by that absence and that pain, that protecting her pack cost her the one person she needs...
She doesn't cut the feed, she can't think enough to. Instead, she simply lets the comm fall from her fingers and moves into the other room, a fist pressed to her mouth to try and silence the noise while she tries to swallow the tears down.]
[Private]
[She scares him, like this. And she breaks his heart, when she cries.
He doesn't know if she'll come back and see this. He doesn't know if he's just talking into the ether. But he knows he has to be strong enough to say something for her, anything, because he loves her, he'll always love her, and seeing her like this is like twisting a knife in his chest.]
Please don't - don't stay there alone. I'm in my room, I can come to you, I can - get Tig, or Duke, Isaac, whoever.
[It still stings a little, knowing that he might not be the one who can comfort her. Help her. Save her. That stings more.]
Just don't be alone right now.
[Private]
I am alone...ask Lydia.
And warn the pack that Jerry's blood is dangerous. I don't know what she has or hasn't passed along.
[With that, she kills the feed.]
[Private]
[private]
You need to leave the Barge.
For just a little while. And don't worry about your friends - you can make sure there's no time that passes here. But, Allison, listen to yourself. You're hurt. Your fears and your pain are getting in the way.
You need a break.
You can come to my world, if you don't have anywhere to go. I know someone there who would like you. And you would like her.
[private]
She can't even go to Isaac.
The more she thinks about it, the more it hurts...the louder and more numerous the sobs become, and she just keeps crying until there's nothing left. She's raw and bleeding inside, missing limbs...she's just empty.
When she comes back for her communicator, she sees the message Zane left her. Before, she would have protested. Before, she would have had a comeback, an answer.
Except that he's right when he says she has nowhere to go, because she's dead. Back home, where her friends come from, she's still dead, and she'll die soon if she goes back home to the world she came from.
That realization...that aloneness, more than anything, hits her like a fist to the gut.
She has no home. She has no best friend. She has nothing she needs...nothing but her deal.
And she needs her deal...even if she doesn't have her pack, she just can't live in a world where those two boys she loves so dearly are so broken by what had to be done.
More tears slip quietly from her eyes as she looks into the feed again...then she ducks her head to hide them.]
I...okay. I mean--okay, just--
Will you protect them from him? While I'm gone? [Her pack, from Jerry...from that terrible, inevitable moment when he tries to do to them what he did to her.]
no subject
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
[Warden Filter]
But he doesn't think she trusts him enough to tell him what it is. That doesn't mean he doesn't care - and he definitely cares about her answer.]
Killing him isn't simple, Allison. You and I both know it's not the answer - maybe it would be the answer someplace else. But we're here, and he's here. And we can't do that.
[Well. Won't. He won't let it happen.]
The reality - the fear - of dying isn't always motivation to change. I think you know that as well as I do.
[She'd die for her friends, as readily as he would.]
[Warden Filter]
You don't get it, Steve. You don't know how powerful he really is, none of us did. He fed at will over there, he bit Kira. And now that he's back here? He's high on his favorite drug: power...and he'll ride that high until someone brings him down.
[She feels a little like she can't breathe, can't maker herself understood. She doesn't have Lydia to help them get it, to back her play and explain it so it all makes sense.
She doesn't have Lydia to help...she doesn't have Lydia...]
If he thinks he can just keep getting away with this stuff without more than some alone time in Zero? He'll never stop...and I promise you, next time? It'll be--it'll be worse.
[Her voice cracks, and she winces visibly at the sound of it.]
The next person he bites...they won't be able to scream, and not because they want to protect their friends.
Because he'll take the choice away from them.
[Warden Filter]
[And killing him isn't the way to do that. Sure, it's one way. But it's not the best way, even if even Steve can admit it might feel a little good for a lot of people here.
But not him. And he knows that satisfaction for everyone else wouldn't last, either. It would only make things worse. And he refuses to let that happen. If they deal with this, they're going to deal with it in a way that works.
He hopes.
He switches the feed to PRIVATE:]
Allison - where are you? Are you in your cabin?
[private]
She lowers her gaze, her breath catches...and after a moment, she shakes her head 'no.' It's a full minute before she can trust her voice to be steady and not sound thick with tears.]
I'm in Duke Crocker's cabin.
[private]
[He's... probably not going to be dissuaded. He's asking more to let her know he's coming.
And yeah, he knows she doesn't want to be coddled or soothed. He's pretty bad at both of those things, anyway. But he's hoping just some company might help.
If it doesn't... then he'll have at least checked in on her. And he promised Scott he would, even if he'd been planning on doing it, anyway.]
[private]
...and she couldn't bring herself to say yes outright. She definitely couldn't say no.
She couldn't survive feeling this disconnected.]
[private] --> [spam]
[Whereby he means about ten minutes; he disconnects, tosses the device aside, and stops to grab a thermos of hot chocolate from the kitchen, because he's not sure how she takes her coffee, and the former seems a safer bet, anyhow.
Then he shows up at the door, knocking.] It's me.
[spam]
Wordlessly, she steps aside to allow Steve entry into the cabin, shooing Brownie gently aside to give him room.]
[spam]
Hey. [Steve's in plain clothes - which is why it's a pretty simple matter, once he's inside the cabin, to dig in a pocket and offer her a handkerchief if she wants it - because he never did get out of the habit of carrying one. And whether she takes it or not, he holds up the thermos.] I brought hot chocolate.
[If she doesn't want any, no big deal, either. In the meantime, he'll just let the dog get to know him.]
[Warden Filter]
That doesn't make it break her heart any less. It makes her want to stake the bastard herself.]
Allison. [Her voice is soft, and stern.] Killing him won't make it better. It won't help you, or the people you love.
Frankly, personally - I don't care if he's flayed alive right now. [There's something hard and cold in her voice, now. She's perfectly sincere.]
But I care about you.
[Warden Filter]
[It's flat, practical...but there's too much sorrow in it for the words to sound as cold as she wants them to. It's sincere, though, because she really doesn't care. She's scared, she's alone, and all she has left is the hunt, the chase, the kill...
...and her deal. If she can even hold onto that for much longer...she's trying to save the boy Lydia loves, she might not like that...
It's a nasty thought, and it only hurts her more so she pushes it aside.]
I don't care about me, Barbara. This isn't revenge, this is the one thing we haven't tried.
[This is different from everyone else, listening to Barbara...she's still wrong, like they all are, but she still sounds like she gets where Allison is coming from.
She wants to be careful, talking to Barbara...she wants to be understood.]
I lost my best friend over this. I lost my pack over this...Jerry is capable of far worse than we've seen, and that means we have to stop him. No beating around the bush, there's no time for creativity. There's a stake to the heart, and that's it. That's the only thing we have that's going to stop him before it's too late, before he--
[Before someone else on this ship gets a mouthful of his blood. Before they find another doped-up victim in a corridor, or worse: a body. God, if he kills someone with his blood in their system...
Just thinking about it makes her queasy.]
[Warden Filter]
She needs hope. She needs to remember that she's loved. She needs to remember that she's a hero.]
I've got a pack too, Allison. Bound in blood. They don't break that easily.
Even when we think we don't deserve them.